HW for 4/2

Read Rules for Writers, chapters 9 (116-119), 11 (123-127) and 12 (127-134). These chapters have to do with the structure of a sentence and ways to avoid messing up the coherence of the idea grammatically once you start writing a sentence.

Bring in your Essay 3 draft to work on editing on these agreement issues.

Assimilation and Acculturation:

Assimilation: to take in and resemble. In cultural assimilation, a person looks (or is forced) to make themselves an insider in the new culture. 

Acculturation: the process of assimilating, and all of the nuances (consequences, benefits, etc.) that come with doing so. 

To Be or Not To be, that is the question:

• Bourdain talks a lot about "being a man" in the kitchen, even for women.

• NFL player Jonathan Martin left his team during this past season and filed a grievance for harassment against teammate Richie Incognito, who is said to have repeatedly used bullying language (including racial slurs and explicit sexual references to Martin's mother) in texts and phone calls. As for what we do know, media has provided one example voicemail with offensive language.  The controversy popping up within the team and amongst fans is whether or not Martin is "being a man about it." One teammate of both said: "The only person who got [punished] was Richie. The other guy, that was his option. He had a choice what he wanted to do. Richie didn't really have a choice."

What does does it mean to "be a man"? What are some of the impacts that you see with this continued American debate? What do you think it says about American culture in 2014 that we have this debate becoming a national headline?  Free-write for 15 minutes on this!

U.N.I.T.Y.: it's a unity

Unity

• When the subject matter all connects back to one point.

Essay Unity

• When each body paragraph is unified around the thesis statement and can clearly linked back to it.

Paragraph Unity

• When the reasons and examples are unified around the topic sentence.

For Essay 3:

• One body paragraph=one step in the advice. Reasons and examples must unify around that one step. The clearer and more specific the step (your language!), the easier to identify what content is unified and which of your ideas "goes somewhere new."

• Each body paragraph should unify with the thesis sentence advice. If your advice is too broad, you will have bigger unity issues. If you give more than one piece of advice and they don't all connect to a biggest piece of advice, your essay is not unified and on purpose.

HW for 3/28

Read the first two chapters of the Third Course: "I Make My Bones" and "The Happy Times."

Plus, work on revision of your Essay 3, using the handout and strategies reviewed this week. Lastly, be sure to practice the S/V AGR editing techniques that we covered in Wednesday's class in your next Essay 1, 2 and Midterm drafts.

You want to make sure you have a good hold of agreement issues-- not just S/V, look at verb tense shifts (VT) and pronoun agreement (Pro AGR) and paralellisms (PARA). We will be reviewing these agreement issues in the coming weeks, as these grammatical failings can cause some unintended consequences in your work.

Editing: S/V AGR issues

One of the bigger grammatical issues to edit out draft to draft is subject-verb agreement (S/V AGR), which means that the subject and its verb have to match in number (singular or plural) and person (first, second, third).

Identify, then Fix

1. Underline the subject


• If the subject is a noun phrase, reduce the subject down to its proper pronoun so that you can better match it with the verb.


• The amazingly bright Johnny = He
• Johnny and Tom=They
• The sisters and I=We
• My favorite lamp=It


2. Circle the verb(s) that the subject 'acts on'


3. Ignore every other word in sentence to test for agreement! 

• Use chart on 198 for a visual aid/reminder (all regular, or typical, verbs will follow the top chart)

• Pay attention to sentences with multiple subjects 


• 'and'= plural
• 'nor' or "'or'=verb must agree with the subject closest it (200)
• Collective nouns (where a group of people is referred to as one unit) such as jury, committee, crowd, and class are to be singular forms unless the idea in the sentence shows the individuals acting separately (see 201-202)
• indefinite pronouns are treated as singular (200)
• Who, which and that=agree with the antecedent 
• antecedent sounds like 'ancestor,' and it means: the noun or pronoun that came before which the current one is supposed to refer to...
• A title of a work or company needs a singular verb, even if it sounds plural!  (The Chicago Bears is my favorite team.)
• Treat gerund phrases (when -ing verbs are used at start) as singular nouns (Beginning with today...)
• ...and other special cases

Editing Your Essay (Student Volunteer! Then, on our own)

• Read your first two (the intro and first body) paragraphs backwards, diagramming each sentence for its subject (underline) and verb (circle). 

• Make sure to reduce any noun-phrases into the appropriate pronoun, as it will help you understand how to agree .

• Make sure to then write the corrections above where you find a lack of agreement. Consult your Rules for Writers for extra help where unsure.

Editing: 'You' Don't Got What You Need

Rules for Writers chapters 13 and 23 will be a great interest for editing essays to have a consistent voice, to have a consistent point of view, and to have agreement in person, among other things.

Our sentences create specific lenses for how we look our essay subjects. If we vary from sentence to sentence our point of view, we are shifting too much and distorting the view through that lens. In short, how we are looking at something becomes blurry and noisy. 

Biz Markie's "You got what I need" is a horrible ear worm, right? You may or may not agree, so I probably shouldn't tell you how to feel. Also, Biz Markie gets away with it why: audience and purpose (and genre). His audience is a young lady, and his purpose is to swoon her!

Our audience is not one person. Our purpose is to never swoon (okay, maybe a little) the audience...

How to edit? 

• Your job is to replace the 'you' or its form with the proper noun/pronoun...
• IF only replacing the word doesn't help with the sentence's grammar, you will need to rewrite the entire sentence, with new clauses and syntax. 

Who/What should replace you? ...How do I know? (pages 134 & 215 in RW)

• Here are a few ways to look for the word(s) that need to replace the 'you'  (or your, yours, etc.)

• the essay subject OR
• the sentence's subject OR 
• the paragraph's subject (look at that topic sentence)
• the subject or the object of that last sentence...because that will force you to come back from the dark side of using second person when you were using third person POV when you started that next sentence!

Reminder: Essay 3 first two paragraphs due tomorrow, too

Besides reading the Subject-Verb section, half of the class remembered that Essay 3's first draft is due on Wednesday. As the handout states, you are only required to bring in the first two paragraphs: the introduction and first body paragraph. Be prepared.

Linking Sentences Techniques: Using Key Words

Below are a few writing techniques that expand on the idea of "borrowing words" to strengthen our transitions. The following techniques emphasize linking our ideas from sentence to sentence using the key words (subject or object) from the previous sentence.

Besides creating more coherent (understandable) transitions, these techniques will also help naturally develop an idea from the first sentence to the last within a paragraph.

When we practice these techniques, we must also consider and work towards structuring our body paragraph using our PRE (Point, Reason, Example) formula. Below is one example of how to use PRE with the linking techniques:

Point | Topic Sentence: Anthony Bourdain learns very early in his cooking career that cockiness only gets a person so far in life.

Reasons:  

1. Fellow workers do not appreciate the attitude that one is better than others.
2. Cockiness can cause one to become too confident in their skills and cause them to do a poor job.
3. Someone or something will humble a man when he becomes too cocky.

Supporting Example:

1. Tyrone at Mario's
2. Chef Bernard at CIA 

Okay...we have our PRE. Now, we must work on the following two sentence-to-sentence techniques for strong coherence.

Borrowing Words From Previous Sentences

1. Repeat the subject of one sentence as the subject of the next sentence! However, to show some variety and skill:

• If the subject is the author of a source you are explaining, rotate between their whole name and their last name.  

• For example:  Anthony Bourdain learns.... Bourdain realizes...

• Or, use an adjective or brief phrase that helps develop the subject further.  

• For example: Anthony Bourdain learns.... The overconfident Bourdain realizes...

• Or, create a brief introductory phrase using a synonym (word or phrase) that characterizes your subject and gives good context, followed by the appropriate pronoun:

• For example:  Anthony Bourdain learns.... As a novice cook, he realizes...

Let's  see how a young writer might put this "repeat the subject" technique into play:

        Anthony Bourdain learns very early in his cooking career that cockiness only gets a person so far in life (topic sentence).  Bourdain realizes that his fellow workers do not appreciate the attitude that one is better than others (reason 1).  The overconfident Bourdain also realizes that cockiness can cause one to become too confident in their skills and cause them to do a poor job (reason 2). As a novice cook, he finds out someone or something will humble a man when he becomes too cocky (reason 3).

• Another technique to note: each sentence's main verb is a synonym of the topic sentence's main verb. (Why does this make sense?)

• Also, note that we have yet to introduce our supporting examples that are specific experiences Bourdain learned from two early chapters in his life.

2. Turn the object from one sentence into the subject of the very next sentence. 

• This technique is good to use when transitioning between a reason and an example. You may have to revise the object a bit to make the transitions sound good:  

•  For example: Bourdain realizes that his fellow workers do not appreciate the attitude that one is better than others.  One fellow worker that dislikes Bourdain's cockiness is Tyrone, the head cook at Mario's where Bourdain spends his second summer learning to cook. Tyrone shows his cooking scars to a whiny Bourdain to make the point that one cannot be cocky in the kitchen and cry for burn cream (pg. #). ...

• Here, the object of sentence 1 (blue) becomes the subject (same blue) in the next sentence, sentence 2. Then, the object of sentence 2 (free) becomes the subject of sentence 3...

• Here, too, we've added the example after reason 1 instead of going through all of our reasons at the same time.

The two general techniques will help you:

• Build coherency by staying on topic

• Build vocabulary as you decide on different synonyms to use

• Further pay attention to those basic parts of speech: subject, verb, and object. 

Now, thinking of Revising Your Midterm Essays for Portfolios:

1. Make sure you have PRE, and put each part in an outline first to help you start with a point and move towards supporting examples.
2. Prior to starting, look up/brainstorm a few synonyms for your main subject and your main verb. (As I've been saying, preparing yourself ahead of time makes writing sentences easier.)

• Remember to use active analysis verbs  instead of just "to be"

Lastly (deep breath...),  use these techniques in revising all essays:

The above writing techniques can be used at any stage of of the essay writing process. Sure, it helps to practice writing this way from the first draft. However, it's also a good way to go back through and re-write your essays to help clear up coherency issues.

Revising Persuasive Main Points

Below is just one way of looking differently at our current or non-existing topic sentences. There are other techniques, I am sure, that will be just as valid, but here is one way of going about making our ideas as clear as we can. The basics of this technique rely on those rhetorical qualities we've already emphasized to death in our course: specificity, strong word choice, active voice sentence structure, and more.

How to look at your main points:

1. Use the subject matter that your essay is on, such as "Racial profiling" or "Not treating homosexuals as equal citizens," as the subject of your main sentences (thesis and topic sentences)

• If you don't have a more in-depth term used, expand your subject matter/word it in a way that makes it depthful and specific

2. Use a powerful verb that emphasizes a larger claim! Click this link for a great list of words that are good with argument/analysis!

3. Lastly, express the benefit, consequence, result -- or something else significant the reader should LEARN about that subject matter--as the object of the sentence.

• Here is where you think about the last blog post, where societal viewpoints come in to play. What are common arguments, perceptions, misconceptions, or results of society's arguing? 

***Good ideas will have 1+2+3!

Examples:

Racial profiling being commonly accepted or done by a society (subject matter in expanded form from topic) + elevates (strong verb) + the tension and distrust between people of different races (significance/result).

• Racial profiling being commonly accepted or done by a society elevates the tension and distrust between people of different races.

Not treating homosexuals as equal citizens + challenges + the US Constitution's assertions that all citizens are afforded the same legal rights and freedoms. 

• Not treating homosexuals as equal citizens challenges the US Constitution's assertions that all citizens are afforded the same legal rights and freedoms. 

Your turn (We'll do each step, timed, as a class):

Do 1 first. Identify and work on expressing your Essay 2 subject matter in the clearest context.

Then, pick a verb from the list in # 2.

Then three. 

Then, put them all together as a coherent arguable claim! 

Read the MLA Citation Brief

Within the Midterm Essay you must do the in-text citation, which includes these basic elements:

• Naming the author of the passage being cited, either in your own sentence or within the parentheses.
• You must name them the first time you use the source, and
• Anytime you use multiple sources and go back and forth between cited works

• Use of (p.#) at the end of all cited passages. 

One clarification I want to make is on web sources: you do NOT include the web address. As you see with those on-line sources in the example page on 532, web sources are indicated in other ways.

In-text Citation Examples (the E of PRE): your source material is evidence, not the topic sentence! Therefore, you should NOT start off body paragraphs with evidence. Doing so will result in many U's in your rubric!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

• In Kitchen Confidential, Anthony Bourdain outlines various characteristics of what he looks for in those he employs in his kitchen. Among the many qualities, Bourdain emphasizes that his employees must be humble and reliable. The chef believes that a kitchen can only put out a quality product if the staff is able to follow the boss's vision. In fact, Bourdain brashly states that Latin American immigrants are stronger employees than privileged "CIA-educated white boys" simply because of these qualities (56).

• One example where Bourdain expresses his love of ______ is when he writes: "..........." (pg#).

• In the chapter "Big Foot," Bourdain writes about his admiration for the qualities of one of his former bosses, which includes ...insert qualities... (pg #). 

• Being a reliable person is emphasized by Bourdain when he states, "........." (pg #).

Some qualities and requirements to notice in the above examples:

• Start off with your thoughts/context, then go into citation...

• Subject matter that source is supporting should be subject of your sentence

• Use a solid verb (writes, states, exclaims, argues..., but NEVER 'says')

• Lead in to your cited passages with your own idea, or at least with context from where the source is coming from. Here are some things you MAY do:

• Use transitional phrases (introductory phrases are good, right!).

• Use the author's name (last name or whole name) to set up what the author is doing with the quote.

• Indicate the place (chapter, scene, ???) the quote is from.

• Start with the key idea you want the reader to see in the quote as the subject, then attach the quote as a dependent clause (such as the last example above does).

• Page number is placed in the (page#), no matter if summarizing or quoting.

• The end punctuation always comes at the end of the citation, AFTER the ( ). 

• Exception:  If a ! or ? is part of the quote, leave it there and then use a period after the ( ) to indicate end of citation.  

• Ex.:   Bourdain then wrote, "What was he thinking!" (pg.#). 

• The first parenthetical citation you have should include the author's last name IF you don't name the author within your own writing. So, if you didn't introduce Bourdain in your own sentences, you'd have to also write (Bourdain, page #) in the first citation. 

• When you have multiple sources/authors that you are writing on, you will want to get in the habit of using (author's last name, pg #)

Work Cited Pages (Bibliography)

At the end of your essay, you need a page that includes a list of all sources used in the essay. There is a great model of what a Work Cited page looks like on page 532 in Rules for Writers. You will also need to consult page 526 for all of the basic formatting requirements of this page, including alphabetizing your list and how to indent.

• General Guidelines for MLA works cited

• There is a list of types of sources (pages 490-523) and how to write an end citation for that particular kind of text. Use these pages to identify your type of source, or use a reliable on-line citation guide, such as Diana Hacker's MLA guide.

Work Cited citation that connects to the above in-text citation:

Bourdain, Anthony. Kitchen Confidential. Updated ed. New York: Harper, 2007. Print. 

• In both, Bourdain's name is key. The reader can easily find your end citation when you do your job as the writer. This is important because:

1. Citation rules allow readers to find your sources so they can do their own reading/research
2. The in-text citation strategies allow for your essay to cleanly point to sources without distracting from the essay's own ideas. 

Persuasive/Argument Strategies: Building Authority

A

Tactful, Courteous Language:

• Avoid large, sweeping statements (Everyone, Nobody, All, . . .)
• Avoid boxing in you, your readership, or those with differing viewpoints into overly general teams/categories.
• Avoid personal attacks (ad hominem) or bold judgments of anyone you are speaking about!
• However, one might consider a persuasive way of describing the action of a person/group in regards to TONE

Point Out Common Ground: if there is something within the larger argument that you agree with, it is effective to make reader see your open-mindedness.  

• Discussing in your argument where you agree with others will logically be followed by your contrasting interpretation of what sides agree upon.

• Quick Brainstorming:  Write down a couple of ideas that you may share with "the opposition." Specify who this person/group is...

Acknowledge Differing Viewpoints: start with the different viewpoint and use a change in direction transitional word/phrase (however, while, although, in contrast, …) and then go into your viewpoint.

• You may also start with the proper transitional phrase and differing viewpoint, insert the comma at the end of that point, and then go into your viewpoint

Make Reader Aware of the Merits of Differing Viewpoint: beyond just stating different views, adding some of the positives of that other view will enable you to compare and contrast the positives of the other side with the positives of your side! 

Quick Brainstorming:  Write down what you feel is "good" or "right" about "the opposition's" point of views.

Rebut Differing Viewpoints (even published critics/authorities): Many large issues have common arguments made for either side. After acknowledging a differing view, make arguments for why the view is less valid than your own.

• Quick Brainstorming:  Write down what you think "the opposition" is missing or ignoring in their own point(s). 

HW for Friday, 3/7

We want to discuss "Personality flaws and consequences" with the chapters we discuss on Friday. Try to have read up to "Owner's Syndrome and Other Anomalies"--if you have time, read the last chapter of Second Course,"Bigfoot," too.


Below are the types of scholarly behaviors that will help you be prepared to write a well-organized and depthful in-class timed Midterm Essay next Wednesday.

• Collect evidence (Write down relevant quotes, with page numbers) for what Anthony Bourdain says about others.

• Note down places where you see him persuading you (Ethos, Pathos, Logos) as to how he feels. Work on explaining how you interpret Bourdain's feelings/ideas by answering these questions:

• What does he focus on in his description of others? 
• How does he describe them? What type of language does he use? Key words?

• Collect evidence for Bourdain's own flaws and how they impacted him

• Collect evidence that shows 'the opposite of a flaw'

• Start making organizational decisions about which chapters are most relevant--which chapters or excerpts are most worth your time (because of the amount of evidence you find)

• Start summarizing the patterns into ideas in your notes
• Use a two- or three-column note chart to help you organize your ideas